I'm going to write this as a way to escape, as a way to release some tension, and Most likely will be in a poem format.
I think I've grown apart from who I really am and was. I thought religion would bring me closure, or closer
to some form of happiness; or even just being content. I was wrong. I thought the Sun moved because God said so, as with the rising of the sun. But I learn, I listen, I conform to logical voices telling me that there is more to this world than just the subtle spin of it's axis. I don't know if God said let there be light, and there was. I don't know if he flicked his wrist and the Earth was born, But I do know I'm here; so something created me. If you believe in nature, you believe nature is your god. There is no way around this concept. We didn't just simply POOF into existence, never the less did we spawn randomly.
We walk and wander for years and years in this abyss of confusion, wondering where we came from and why we're here. Though I do not know how, why, where, when or who, Maybe this answer will suffice. We are here to love, to care, to pass on our morales, ethics, and traditions onto each generation. Though we can't see the floor of this endless ocean, We see life. We hear birds and we feel the waves. It is there. What it exactly is or consists of shouldn't be the question, but what we do with it should be the answer. The water is abundant and the wind is forever pushing us along. With time, We'll sink to the bottom in an abysmal decay of flesh and life; only then will we find out what lies beneath.
I don't read. I don't like to read. I can't keep focus. I read a paragraph and understand the character thoroughly, and people think I've read the book. Why is this? I don't think I'm some kind of psychological orgasm of a mind, but I know people on a deeper level than most. Just ask my friends... This is not my point, I wonder why I have this gift. It seems to push me underwater most of the time- dealing with drama and being stressed over the problems of others- and some times pulls me out. Is this a curse or a gift?
I wonder who will read this. I write all the time, but I wonder who really looks at them. Everybody wants to be recognized, I seem to be infatuated and obsessed with it. My whole life I've been doubted, contorted, and pushed down for my beliefs and goals. For once, I want to be seen as an individual with something to offer and not some whiny kid with issues. Everyone has issues, I'm just painting my portion of the picture...But perhaps you do read. Perhaps you pay attention to each word placed inside each sentence and think of the relevance it has to your own life. If so, I am happy. All I want is to be heard, To assist in hardships, and to grow from mutual understanding.
We push and pull, we rise and fall, and some of us never notice the inertia. I've seen men boast about things that have no holding on their eternal life. Things like how many women they've been with, the trophies stashed in their closet, and even the parties they've been too. While these things have importance, they hold little value on the soul and I think it unwise to settle for that. Learn, crawl if you have to, become a child again. Reach out and explore every deep crevasse of this ocean you can, drown if you must, But remember, it's better to have witnessed and lived life than to float on the surface and die without wisdom.
